Alexia Putellas: "I learned to grow through bad, depressive, and even toxic times."

She's back. Alexia Putellas (Mollet del Vallès, 1994) leads Spain in this European Championship with the best version of her football, one that was put on hold by a terrible knee injury that she now talks about openly with EL MUNDO, painting a different side of football.

The headline for this European Championship is: "Alexia flows." Why does she flow?

I don't think it's just one thing, but rather a mixture. You put a lot of things in the blender and this version comes out. A lot of work, of course, and learning from everything. The good and the bad, it's all been positive in building me.

Do you look at statistics or do you go by feelings?

They're usually related. Also, they're related to my role. For example, at Barça, I'm perhaps more distant from the penalty area. And here, it's the opposite. I can do both, but I definitely think my talent shines through more when I'm between the lines, and I think that's also being seen in this European Championship. I'm happy with the sensations and also because they're becoming statistics.

Are we seeing the best Alexia yet?

Honestly, I think so. Understanding that my best form was before I tore my cruciate ligaments, when we won the Champions League, practically everything, and the Ballon d'Ors. I analyze myself now, this season, and I think I'm making better decisions for every action. I play the right way at all times, and I think I'm making much better decisions.

And that is maturity?

Of course, it's a lot of things, because in the end it's about experiencing a lot of situations, making mistakes, learning from them, and then making better decisions the next time.

You've often said that you dream of playing football. Plays or successes?

When I say dream, I mean visualize. Sometimes my mind tries to tease me, and I visualize moments of success, but I block them out and return to the simple, the straightforward: a control or the body positioning before a shot.

Does leadership weigh?

I couldn't tell you. There are different types of leadership, and all are necessary because, if there's one thing about football, it's that your role fluctuates. You can be a protagonist one game and less so the next. The important thing is that leadership exists, because it's essential for building a team. Besides, as I always say, you never know when it's going to be your turn.

Do you have to do it more with Spain than with Barça?

A club is totally different from the national team. I don't feel I have to do it the way you say. The good thing is that we have a group here that we've been working with for a long time. Everyone knows each other, we know what position a teammate is comfortable in, and I'm not talking about on the field. Each one has fit in. Perhaps on the outside, my role, and that of other teammates, reflects that, but on the inside, we appreciate the role of everyone on the expedition.

When a new player enters a locker room, how do you think they are perceived?

From experience, because they've told me about it later, young people are afraid to approach them. They have a sense of respect, but then they see that I'm a completely normal person and that we want the same thing. They see that I need them to win, and they need me to win, and that we have to take care of each other, because that's a team. But, at first, they do have that respect.

Do you take the step of approaching them?

Now that I understand why they see me that way, yes. I try not to let that respect turn into self-consciousness, especially because I need that teammate to win.

When you won both Ballons d'Or, you said you'd never even considered it. Are you thinking about a third?

It's a generational thing. When I was growing up as a footballer, the women's Ballon d'Or didn't exist. It couldn't be a goal. The younger generations can aspire to it. But for me, it's an award that's not coherent. It's a team sport, and if you get the award, it's for what you've done with other players in their 20s. Focusing on an individual award like the Ballon d'Or is something that personally shocks me. From my experience, if they win, it's for what you've done as a team without thinking about that goal.

To be among the elite, is it essential to always be challenging yourself?

Essential. And it's an inconvenience that not everyone is willing to endure. Not just for physical reasons, but above all for mental reasons, because it's very exhausting.

Are you referring to the discomfort of being better every day?

Yes, of course, pushing yourself to the limit every day, both mentally and physically, is uncomfortable. We all live in our comfort zones perfectly. But pushing yourself in every workout, if you learn to enjoy it, is a drug. For better or worse. I, for example, am really enjoying it now, but there may also be side effects in the future. For example, when I don't quite know what it is that fulfills me so much.

What did the injury teach you?

Above all, the lesson that one day you're up, and the next day you're down. And that, no matter how meticulous you are with everything, there are things you can't control, and that fate often rules. I also learned to grow from bad times, from extreme depression, even toxic ones, and still move forward, to continue being who I am, not letting that influence me. In the end, I do believe that the injury is one of the things I mentioned before that you put in the mix and that has made me who I am today.

Was it more physical or mental effort?

Much more mental. To begin with, because you learn to walk again, to run. It's a mental process in which your almost 30-year-old body learns things from when it was two. Mentally, it's very difficult to walk alone at home on crutches and not know how to carry the plate to the table. It's very frustrating, because they are very simple things, but you can't do them. And when you finally return to training with the team... Of course, the last feeling I had as a player was at a fucking great level. And when you come back from a serious injury, you say, "This isn't me." Until you understand that you need time, patience, which is something I didn't have or couldn't manage very well, and at the same time, continuing with that discomfort of pushing yourself to the limit, mentally, it's very difficult.

Does remembering all that now make this Euro a privilege?

Yes, yes. I feel like I'm savoring it a lot more. I don't have that urge to do one action and then have the next one come along, or to play one game and then have the next one come along. I'm really looking forward to the next game, but at the same time, I'm enjoying every pass, every touch, every shot I make.

Would Spain's successes have come sooner if they had had the necessary conditions?

Yes, definitely. And not just my generation, but previous ones too. I know there are always a lot of comparisons between genders in sports, but the context is never considered. Going back a long way, the context is that, for example, our men's national team is going to compete in its first World Cup when women's suffrage hadn't even been approved in Spain. They were already representing their country, and in Spain, women didn't even have the right to vote. Imagine the gap in cultural context, in absolutely everything. And in a short time, everything has had to be corrected. Yesterday or the day before yesterday, we were talking about it among ourselves: even if you reach an agreement in the world of women's soccer, it will surely be obsolete in a year or two, because it's growing so fast. You're constantly reinventing yourself because if not, you'll fall behind, in competition and in everything. If previous generations had had our facilities, the gap would have narrowed much sooner, but well, we've had to live with it like this.

Without what happened before and after the World Cup, would things have accelerated so much?

We'll never know. But things are what they are, and you have to accept them as they come. Sometimes you control them, other times you don't. As long as the goal is always to grow and for everyone to respect the profession of women's soccer... It's much easier if everyone is moving in that direction, and now we feel there's that intention, and obviously, our conditions are much better.

Is 'It's over' a folder that is already closed?

I think it's something that will always be there, fortunately or unfortunately. It depends on how you look at it. I'm one of those people who looks for the positive side of everything that happens. It wasn't a pleasant situation, but it was constructive. Let me emphasize that it wasn't just that, but how it was faced and managed also made us who we are today.

Spain has been unstoppable in the qualifying rounds, and the knockout stages are approaching. Switzerland will face them in the quarterfinals. With them, the possibility of penalties. Are you thinking about the penalty shootout against Germany at the Olympics?

No. It's something that obviously went wrong. I analyzed it at the time, and this year I've had the opportunity to take several, and except for one, I've scored. These things happen. The best penalty takers have also missed at times.