Psychology. How can I help my child if they have trouble making friends?

There are many reasons why a child has trouble making friends. Sometimes it has to do with their personality: an introverted child tends to seek out moments of solitude, while a shy child waits for others to make the first move. Fear of rejection can also explain a child's difficulty approaching others if they are teased or ignored at school.

Furthermore, "a fear of others can be fostered by the behavior of overprotective parents who send the message that the outside world is dangerous," explains Sophie Maretto, a psychologist in Paris. They unwittingly convey the idea that it's better to avoid others than risk getting hurt.

However, the question is not whether he has enough friends, but whether his social situation is causing him pain. In this case, the child may show several warning signs: sadness, recurring stomach aches, sleep disturbances, anxiety... These are all signs of a deep-seated malaise that must be taken seriously.

In this case, " the first thing to do is to be reassuring and available. This doesn't mean providing an immediate solution, but rather being a stable and comforting presence, ready to listen," recommends Sophie Maretto. Ask him open-ended questions about the children he knows.

Show interest in what he thinks about others and how he feels about his peers. “This will allow him to put his emotions into words, develop his empathy, but also to feel understood, accepted, and supported,” she adds.

The goal isn't to find friends for them, but to give them tools to approach others. Role-playing games can help them learn how to say hello, suggest a game, or respond to an invitation. You can also suggest inviting a friend home to foster special time outside of the school environment.

Enrolling your child in an extracurricular activity can also be a great option. Theater, team sports, and summer camp are all opportunities where your child can meet other children in a setting other than school.

If relationship difficulties persist, it is useful to check that there is no bullying at school . If in doubt, do not hesitate to ask the teaching team. At the same time, you can also consult a professional (psychologist, child psychiatrist) to support the child.