In Italy, half of the people feel lonely (even if they live with someone)
In Italy, one in two people report feeling lonely where they live, a "true silent epidemic ." This is how Graziana Orefice, a psychologist and cognitive behavioral psychotherapist, described the results of a survey conducted by Observant for Unobravo on a sample of 1,500 citizens . "Unlike how it was perceived in the past," Orefice continues, "loneliness is no longer a transitory emotional state, but a social phenomenon that affects large segments of the population. And, if prolonged, it can become a breeding ground for disorders such as social anxiety , depression, and relational withdrawal."
Yet, despite the widespread nature of this condition, what's most lacking among the Italian population is an awareness of what loneliness really is: "Looking for a definition in the Atlas of Human Emotions (an essay that collects and describes over 150 emotions by historian Tiffany Watt Smith, ed.), loneliness is described as 'the feeling of isolation and emotional disconnection that can manifest both in the absence of relationships and in the presence of unsatisfactory relationships.' A definition that, when compared with the common perception of the phenomenon, leads to an initial cognitive bias," explains the psychologist and psychotherapist.
This definition, in fact, forces us to confront a common mental bias: thinking that loneliness only affects "others," such as the elderly or those living on the margins of society. But, contrary to the common perception of the phenomenon, it's not just the number of contacts or their "intensity" that determines how lonely a person feels. According to the results of a survey released by Unobravo , 67% of those in a relationship said they still felt lonely. This number, in itself, clearly illustrates how misguided and reductive the common perception of the phenomenon is.
"Even the family environment , which historically represented an antidote to isolation, no longer seems to protect: 66% of those living with their parents feel lonely, compared to 55% of those living alone. Even the relationship with children doesn't seem to offer complete protection: those who live with a partner and children (46%) feel lonelier than those who live with just their partner (37%)," says Orefice. These data, once again, refute the idea that usually accompanies the concept of loneliness, redefining the characteristics of a condition that is far more widespread than is perceived.
The paradox of the “most connected generation ever”“Women (53%) generally declare themselves lonelier than men (46%), but it is the demographic data that is striking: loneliness affects young people with increasing incidence. In the 18-34 age group , more than two out of three people (69-70%) declare they feel lonely. An apparent paradox for what is defined as ' the " The most connected generation ever ," Orefice emphasizes. The percentage of people who feel lonely, in fact, gradually decreases with increasing age. From 70% of the youngest, it goes to 53% of the 35-54 age group , up to 45% of 55-64 year-olds and 33% of those over 65.
An apparent paradox that, for Orefice, has very specific sociological reasons: "Today, as Bauman, a leading contemporary philosopher, would have said, we find ourselves in a ' liquid society .' Everything moves, changes, flows, even relationships. The invitation to be independent, effective, and self-sufficient has generated a hyper-individualistic culture : we've been asked to be self-sufficient, but in doing so, we've found ourselves imprisoned in our inner fortresses."
And he adds: "The younger generation has confused self-protection with self-exile: today, loneliness is the consequence of the pursuit of freedom. Bonds between individuals dissolve and become unstable, and often, to fill the feeling of loneliness , people resort to disposable items, quickly replacing others to neutralize the reality of feeling alone. Often, when quality is lacking, we seek refuge in quantity."
Many schools of thoughtOver the years, many scholars, attempting to quantify the phenomenon's spread, have also offered a definition: "Umberto Galimberti, in his quest to define this state of being," explains Orefice, "emphasizes a fundamental aspect: in the desperate search for one's own identity, each individual forgets that they are not capable of constructing it alone, but that it is formed by the recognition that comes from others. This happens just like a somewhat peculiar mirror , which reflects only the features seen and reflected by the gaze of others. Sometimes, in the war between 'self-construction' and 'ideal,' we isolate ourselves in an attempt to protect ourselves because, otherwise, we would have to face the fact that we are not who we would like to be. And this makes us feel bad."
And she adds: "A further contribution comes from Albert Ellis, who offers us a very concrete interpretation of feeling lonely. Ellis views loneliness as a factor that generates suffering and emotional distress, linking it no longer to individual events—such as, for example, the objective fact of being alone—but to how the events themselves are interpreted, that is, to how we observe them through our own personal lenses," concludes the psychologist and psychotherapist, quoting the American psychologist once again: "I am never disturbed by events themselves, but by how I choose to interpret them ."
“Tearing along the edges”, Zerocalcare's contributionFinally, among the quintessential generation of TV series, among the most popular themed content, it's worth mentioning—due to its resonance—" Strappare lungo i bordi ," the series produced by Zerocalcare: "With his autobiographical and ironic style, Zerocalcare explores precisely this generational malaise : a youth that takes refuge behind screens and silence, not by choice but out of fear of vulnerability. Relationships become sparse, difficult, sometimes toxic. Walls are erected instead of bridges. It's no longer a chosen solitude, but a forced one. The phenomenon of NEETs , young people who neither study nor work and who often self-isolate, is just one of the most extreme manifestations."
"We've been educated not to need others," Orefice concludes, "to be resilient to the hilt, to not be a burden on others. The result? A society that tends to hide need , but is promoting asking for help as a true act of revolution, not of fragility."
Luce
