Florida’s New ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ Prison Almost Makes Me Miss the Days When Pam Bondi Was in Charge

(Permanent Musical Accompaniment to This Post)

Being our semi-regular weekly survey of what’s goin’ down in the several states where, as we know, the real work of governmentin’ gets done and where the fool crossed over from the other side.

I have some alarming polling news out of Texas, courtesy of Politico. Senator John Cornyn, Republican of Texas, is no real bargain, an amiable automaton who largely does what he’s told. Now he is in danger of losing his seat to Texas’s spectacularly corrupt and ideologically fanatic attorney general Ken Paxton, whose political career apparently has the half-life of tellurium-128.

The poll, conducted on behalf of a Paxton-allied super PAC, shows the Texas attorney general with a commanding 19-point lead over the incumbent—57 to 38 percent—in a head-to-head matchup of Texas Republican primary voters. It’s the latest data point for national Republicans who see Cornyn flailing with primary voters but worry about the general election prospects for Paxton, who has faced both indictment and impeachment. The race has increasingly become a topic of worry in Republican circles as operatives dread the prospect of an ugly, expensive primary that could potentially provide an opening for Democrats in the Lone Star State.

Perhaps most remarkable, the poll shows Paxton with higher name ID than Cornyn, who has long been a national figure on Capitol Hill. Eighty-nine percent of primary voters have an opinion of Paxton and 84 percent of Cornyn. Both are viewed positively by the electorate, but Paxton is far more well-liked. His net favorable-unfavorable ratio is 70 to 18 percent, while Cornyn’s is 53 to 30 percent. The poll continues a trend of Paxton being beloved by voters who identify as Trump Republicans. He has a 44-point lead with that demographic, while Paxton lags Cornyn by 15 points among those who identify as Reagan Republicans.

The Senate needs Ken Paxton as much as it needs cholera in the lunchroom, and since I have no confidence in any Texas Democrat to win a statewide race, I am hoping Cornyn finds enough in himself to win the damn primary. I hate this timeline.

However, the big story in local politics this week was the stunning victory of Zohran Mamdani in the Democratic mayoral primary in New York. This being the Democratic party in the state of New York, though, a lot of the movers and shakers allied themselves with Andrew Cuomo, the black banana in the political pantry, and now they’re all being timorous about the 33-year old Muslim socialist who kicked Cuomo’s ass. From the Associated Press:

A fresh round of infighting erupted among Democratic officials, donors, and political operatives on Wednesday, a day after Mamdani’s leading opponent, former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, conceded the Democratic primary. Mamdani appears on a glide path to the nomination, though ranked choice vote counting will determine the final outcome next week.

However, this being the New York Democratic party, and this being the Democratic party in general, a resounding upset victory by an insurgent candidate is considered to be ... a problem. The establishment Democratic party in New York is a mess and has been for years, and now it’s running scared. Around the country, timid Democrats are still chasing so-called “centrist” voters and lying-ass “independents” like treasure hunters digging for treasure on Oak Island until the ocean comes running into the pit every couple years.

Many progressives cheered the emergence of the young and charismatic Mamdani, whose candidacy caught on with viral campaign videos and a focus on the cost of living. But the party’s more pragmatic wing cast the outcome as a serious setback in their quest to broaden Democrats’ appeal and move past the more controversial policies that alienated would-be voters in recent elections.

You will note, I hope, that, in the above, progressive and pragmatic are considered to be antonyms. You also will note the sub rosa argument that, in the case of the New York election, “the quest to broaden the Democrats appeal” consisted of lining up behind a washed-up POS who governed like a Republican, who treated women badly, and who’s primary political motive seemed to be squashing any effort at reform.

Lawrence Summers, the Treasury Secretary under former Democratic President [Bill Clinton], aired dire concerns on social media.

I couldn’t care less what Larry Summers thinks about anything, and I’m getting so I don’t give a damn what any Democratic president who gave him a job thinks about anything.

We move along to Tennessee, where the book banners are running amok. From Pen America:

Magic Tree House author Mary Pope Osborne, children’s poet Shel Silverstein and Calvin and Hobbes cartoonist Bill Watterson have joined Judy Blume, Sarah J. Maas, Eric Carle and Kurt Vonnegut on a mind-boggling list of hundreds of books purged from some Tennessee school libraries.

Osborne is the author of the widely acclaimed and enormously popular Magic Tree House series, which sends siblings Jack and Annie time traveling to historical settings for various adventures. A book she wrote with her sister, Natalie Pope Broyce, called Ancient Greece and the Olympics, a Magic Tree House Fact Tracker meant to be a learning companion to Magic Tree House #16: Hour of the Olympics, is among a staggering 574 books purged from Monroe County’s school libraries. The book features a nude Greek statue on the cover.

Ancient Greek nude dudes is one thing, but you will not mess with Calvin and Hobbes on my watch. And after all, there are lessons to be learned there. What have the past 20 years of GOP governance been but an extended game of Calvinball? Ask Mitch McConnell, Merrick Garland, or Justice Amy Coney Barrett if you don’t believe me.

Let’s skip on down to Florida, where Governor Ron DeSantis, the Man Who Beat the Pandemic, has determined to become part of the great migrant hunt by using Florida’s most conspicuous natural resource—its nonhuman predators. From the Hill:

The site, dubbed “Alligator Alcatraz,” could open with soft-sided holding units for hundreds of detainees in the coming days through a partnership where the federal government will provide funding and the Florida Division of Emergency Management (FDEM) will oversee the build out and management. Additional holding units will be added through next month, under the agreement.

In a video coining the site a potential “Alligator Alcatraz,” Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier (R) highlighted its remote location as a bonus. “People get out, there’s not much waiting for them other than alligators and pythons—nowhere to go, nowhere to hide,” Uthmeier said in a video shared on social platform X. “Within just 30 to 60 days after we begin construction, it could be up and running and could house as many as 1,000 criminal aliens.”

This guy makes me yearn for the days that Florida law enforcement was under the cool, reasoned leadership of Pam Bondi.

And we conclude, as is our custom, in the great state of Oklahoma, whence Blog Official Douro Dowser Friedman of the Algarve brings us the state of health care in his former place of residence. From Oklahoma Voice:

Oklahoma performed worst in breast cancer deaths and people with medical debt in collections, but best on primary care spending for seniors. Oklahoma is 48th in access and affordability to health care, with Nevada, Mississippi and Texas the only states ranked lower. The state also ranks 46th in racial health equity as well as prevention and treatment. Ranked 25th for drug overdose, Oklahoma has over 32 deaths per 100,000 people. Oklahoma is ranked 50th for breast cancer deaths and 42nd for infant mortality. There are nearly 22 suicides per 100,000 people in Oklahoma, bringing the state a ranking of 46.

Oklahoma was ranked in the bottom five states for premature deaths from treatable and preventable causes. In 2024, a report from the Commonwealth Fund found that Oklahoma’s maternal mortality was one of the worst in the country at 48th.

Used to be that statistics like this were a political liability. This is your democracy, America. Cherish it.