Detachment: Your worth is not dependent on their attention.

Question: Doctor, I've been talking to someone for two years. We've seen each other a few times and we talk every day, but there are days when he doesn't want to answer anything. I write to him and ask what's wrong, and he doesn't say anything. On the contrary, he gets angry and has told me he's scared and doesn't want me to depend on him.

I tell him it's not like that, but he could tell me something... Why does he do this? For example, he hasn't answered me since yesterday. I really want to cry and sleep, but I can't, no matter how hard I try. My soul hurts. I truly feel like he doesn't feel the same way about him as I do. At first, he was very loving, but recently he's become very cold. I don't know what to do. Can you help me, please?

Answer: What has you stuck is waiting for him to be affectionate again like in the beginning, as well as getting excited looking for an explanation for his actions .

The first thing you need to understand is that not everyone is like you, that not everyone will love and care for us the way we expect. That love is more than just a temporary occurrence, and that we only need to get to know people to see whether we can handle their personality or not.

I think you shouldn't expect so much from him, but rather look for meaning in your life outside of this dynamic (you are more than that relationship).

Learn that someone who loves you will never play with your feelings or create distress. And, honestly, I don't think that's what you're experiencing with this person.

Many years ago I coined a phrase that will do you good to accept: "One should give one's absence to someone who doesn't value one's presence."

Get busy. Do things in your daily life that keep you distracted, and stop wondering why the other person isn't responding the way you expect.

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