'Friend wants me to pay £200 for bride's hen party - but I didn't go'

A woman has told how she was asked to pay toward a hen party she did not attend, despite being clear she couldn't afford the expense. The social media user, who felt the request was unfair, explained that she'd been upfront that she wouldn't be able to take part in the celebrations from the get-go.

However, she was then asked to help cover the bride's expenses. Posting on Reddit, the bridesmaid, who is from the US, explained her account of the story. She claimed: "A few months ago, the maid of honor planned a bachelorette party in another country.

"From the very beginning, I let them know I wouldn’t be able to attend due to financial reasons — international travel and the associated costs just aren’t in my budget right now. Everyone was understanding at the time, or so I thought."

Unfortunately, the social media user had an unpleasant surprise coming. "The bachelorette trip happened recently, and days after the group got back to the States, the maid of honor sent a message in the group chat — specifically one that included only the bridal party members who did not attend the trip — asking each of us to send $300 (approximately £220) so the bride wouldn’t have to pay her share of the trip," she claimed.

Given the circumstances, the bridesmaid wasn't happy with the request. She added: "This completely blindsided me. I never agreed to contribute financially to something I wasn’t attending, and at no point before or during the planning did anyone say anything about splitting the bride’s costs among people who weren’t going. If they had, I would’ve made it clear that I couldn’t afford that either," she said.

Her post continued: "Now I’m feeling really weird about the whole thing. On one hand, I get that people want to treat the bride, and if I’d been part of the trip I might have chipped in with the others to cover some of her expenses.

"But to ask for that money after the fact, from people who didn’t even go, feels unfair and borderline manipulative." Confused, the bridesmaid turned to Reddit to ask social media users if they agreed with her reaction, and the commenters said she should not pay.

One reply said: "The fact that they didn't tell you is not okay, especially because you couldn't go for financial reasons. It's unfair to ask you to chip in since you didn't go and weren't planning to.

"I've had a similar experience and was sort of socially shamed into covering the bride's Airbnb and food, but at least it happened ahead of time."

Another comment read: "You should speak with the other people that are in the group text that didn’t go and ask how they feel about the situation. I think it’s grimy to ask you guys to pay now that the trip is over."

Someone else replied: "Borderline manipulative? It's blatantly manipulative and ridiculous. I'd respond with a laughing emoji and that's it." A different comment added: "I wouldn't reply and if asked privately, "Sorry, I can't afford that either."