Holidays in North Korea and Germany | Heilbronn or Honolulu

According to the Frankfurter Rundschau, Kim Jong-Un wants to "transform North Korea into a chic vacation spot. The beginning has been made." The beloved leader of the popular country recently officially opened and inaugurated a vast stretch of beach on the east coast of the North Korean People's Republic as a "tourist area." The official name of the gigantic beach resort, which can accommodate 20,000 holidaymakers, is "Wonsan Kalma."

Initially, it was primarily local travelers who headed to the local recreation area, "filled with the joy of experiencing a new level of civilization," as the KCNA news agency reported. "More than 400 artistically designed buildings line the white sandy beach in perfect harmony." It is, in a sense, a modern-day Prora. Or rather, a socialist version of Timmendorfer Strand. This sensation was made possible "thanks to the people-centered policies of the Workers' Party of Korea" (KCNA). The first Russian bathers were expected a few days ago. "But for now, it's time to enjoy some swimming fun in North Korea" (Frankfurter Rundschau).

It would certainly be good for one or two German citizens to “experience a new level of civilization” and be filled with joy.

The obvious question, of course, must be: Why don't we have something like this in wealthy Germany? Certainly, some German citizens would benefit from "experiencing a new level of civilization" and being filled with joy without having to travel abroad (and thus either boarding environmentally harmful airplanes or being subjected to days of nerve-racking highway traffic jams). Do the communist system's competitors really always have to set a good example before local politicians and "decision-makers" get the hang of it?

In this country, the average man has to scrape together all the money he has saved over the years to be able to spend a few sunny days in Formentera or Crete once in his life, where he then has to drink questionable beer and use a large part of his holiday money to support the southern European parasol rental mafia.

Do we have no political-aesthetic visionaries, no modern, forward-looking civil engineers and architects in this country, no bright, nonconformist entrepreneurs and courageous financiers? What has become of our nation? A nation of procrastinators, nose-pickers, lever-architect bureaucrats, semi-literate people, and smombies. Instead of building a bathing paradise complete with white sandy beaches in Germany, we continue – in times of the already clearly noticeable climate catastrophe – to stubbornly pave every inch of the country with six-lane highways and uniform high-rise buildings that not only look like battery cages for humans.

Today's Germany: a sad, overbuilt country, full of concrete, smog, and clouds of exhaust fumes. Malls, factories, warehouses, underground garages, parking garages, motorway bridges, expressways, gas stations, and construction sites. A country that people drive through as quickly as possible, wanting to get away from the concrete and exhaust fumes hell, anywhere, anywhere. Anyone who wants a modicum of air and light will probably have to emigrate sooner or later.

It could be so simple: All one would have to do is remove a barely used, unsightly, or economically depleted part of Germany (and after a brief consultation, quite a few would be found) to make way for a massive artificial lake. Unusable, economically underperforming, and/or problematic-looking areas and "small towns" could be successfully eradicated, and the land thus freed up could be put to new use.

The result would be a win-win situation: people would no longer have to live there, they could be relocated unbureaucratically to Suhl or Western Pomerania, Germany would become more exciting and more beautiful, and Europe's largest and most modern lido would rise, in perfect harmony, like a phoenix from the ashes within a few years on land that was thought to be dead.

I can already see this magnificent cultural heritage of the future before me: in the heart of Germany, where previously a depressing industrial area or a cleared-out lignite mining area languished or a redundant small town (Neumünster, Ludwigshafen, Heilbronn) took up valuable space, the view now glides for miles over gently swaying waves under a blue sky, to the world's most enormous water slides, artistically designed buildings on white sandy beaches and the first magnificent palm trees on German soil.

I am not sure whether, for the sake of a better future, it would be better to start planning today rather than tomorrow.

One thing is certain: When the future German Chancellor cuts the red ribbon and says, "I hereby solemnly hand over the beach paradise of Honolulu (or Heilbronn) to the German public," I will be among the guests of honor. As the invaluable visionary who always focused on people's wishes in his column and who conceived the idea for this architectural feat.