4 insights: What I learned from my own happiness biography

What actually makes me happy? It's a great mystery of life—and also one of the central questions addressed in a so-called happiness biography. Intuitively, I think of my family, my friends, the fact that I'm healthy and have a home where I can relax. These are important and valid points. But can that be the answer?

Author Silke Heimes, also a physician, poetry therapist, and professor of journalism, published "Schreib dich zum Glück" (Write Yourself to Happiness) in 2024, in which she accompanies readers on their journey through the past, present, and future. The healing power of writing has been a major theme for her for over 20 years. With 141 writing exercises, a seven-week happiness diary, and 33 additional tasks, Heimes aims to help everyone learn more interactively and step by step about their own needs, desires, and goals. And in doing so, to realize what personal happiness looks like, but also how to get closer to it. I tried.

1. It grounds you to be in the here and now

There's always something going on in everyday life: We rush from work to shopping, to exercise, have to do housework, and maybe even do care work. Seeing friends every now and then would be nice, too. Every day I ask myself: How do I manage all of this? If I do one thing, I'm already thinking about the next.

For me, this certain amount of stress is part of everyday life; there's hardly any other way. Or is there? "It's up to you to look anew each day and feel within yourself in order to consciously perceive and enjoy happy moments," writes Silke Heimes in her book, prompting me to take a deep breath right there and then.

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"You alone decide whether you sit on a bench for a few minutes or take a walk and absorb everything that presents itself to you in this moment: sun, wind, birds, laughter..." it continues. We are supposed to actively arrive in the here and now, allow peace to settle in, and not stress ourselves, even if only for a moment. And I have to say: It's grounding. Since then, I've been going for walks much more often and, above all, more consciously, concentrating on what I see, hear, and feel – and each time I experience relief, relaxation, and happiness.

2. It helps to pay attention to small details

In any case, while writing my own happiness biography, I learned to place more value on the little things. In the third week of journaling, I was supposed to write down one thing every night that made me happy. After just three days, I enjoyed this mini-routine so much that I knew I would continue. Maybe not in writing, but at least I mentally relive all the moments of the day and choose one that was particularly beautiful. And with this feeling of happiness, I fall asleep contentedly.

3. It works to consciously focus on your own happiness

"Happy is he who chooses it," explains the author. "Only you can decide that you are worthy of being happy. You decide your perspective and whether you look at the supposedly happier neighbor or focus your eyes on what's growing in your garden."

This passage taught me two things at once: First, I have my own happiness in my own hands. And second, it doesn't matter what others do and think, because it's about my life, my needs, my feelings: "Happiness lies in developing one's own personality, not in pleasing other people or doing things that supposedly make one happy," writes Silke Heimes, appealing: "The art lies in finding out what truly makes us happy, not what should make us happy."

4. To be happy, not everything has to go perfectly

While I've been thinking so intensely about happiness for weeks, I've occasionally thought that striving for it is truly exhausting. That I have to consider so much to do it right. But is that really what it's all about? The expert questions this:

"One question that arises is whether there really is one single right path that makes us happy." True, I think at this point – my life has often turned out differently than I expected. In the end, misfortune has often turned out positively – or not. But I've learned from that, too, and after every low, there's always been a high. Our lives are full of change – not everything has to go perfectly to be happy.

Brigitte

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