Scandinavian Lifestyle: 3 Things I Learned About a Happy Life from My Danish Family

The Scandinavian people, and especially the Danes, top the rankings of the happiest countries in the world every year. According to the World Happiness Report, Denmark recently landed in second place again – ahead only of Finland. Sweden and Norway, by the way, are in seventh and eighth place, respectively. Why is that? Why are people in the Nordic countries apparently so much happier and more relaxed than others – especially than us Germans (hello, 24th place!), even though we are similarly well off in terms of prosperity and security?

As a half-Danish person, I spent some of my childhood in Denmark and still regularly visit my family there. I'm always struck by how different the mentality is from the German one. And this mentality apparently ensures that the Danes are more balanced and happier than other peoples. So how do they do it?

Insights from a half-Danish woman: Why people in Denmark are so much more relaxed than we are 1. Work is just work

The first thing that comes to mind is work, or as we like to say, work-life balance. To be honest, people in Denmark manage it much better than we do. On average, Danes work less than Germans, and (full-time) working hours from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. are not uncommon. And on Fridays, most people wouldn't even consider staying in the office or working from home later than lunchtime.

When my mother and I visit family for a weekend, we often encounter incomprehension when we work the same amount of time on Fridays as on other days. My uncle has usually been relaxing at home since lunchtime, waiting for the strange, work-obsessed relatives from Germany to arrive.

Of course, there are differences in Denmark depending on the industry and profession, but a workweek there usually consists of 35 to 37 hours, while Germans often have to work 40. We don't even want to get started on the plans and ideas of various politicians to increase the working week to 42 hours.

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And even though we may not be able to change our working hours just like that, and especially not as individuals within the system, we can certainly work on our perspective. Many Danes, just like Germans, like their jobs and enjoy working. But in my experience, work simply isn't as central to their work as it is for us. A job is a job, but real life happens before and after it. And that's definitely more satisfying than defining ourselves by our careers or often even endangering our own health by investing too much time and energy in it.

2. Hygge – the real thing

Sure, no article about Denmark is complete without mentioning hygge. But here I'm interested in the true meaning of the word. It doesn't have as much to do with cozy interior design, fluffy pillows, and hot chocolate as the advertising would have us believe. Hygge is more about quality time, especially spending time with others. And yes, we can spend this quality time on the couch with the lights dimmed, with a good book—sometimes alone, but more often with our best friend or family. But a nice evening in our favorite bar or at a festival can be just as hyggelig.

It's all about coziness, but I've almost always heard the word used in a social context. Danes place great value on spending quality time with loved ones. I've never actually encountered the term hygge as a noun, but rather as a verb or adjective. The focus is therefore on consciously making yourself comfortable, ideally with others—and not on forcing the whole thing into our lives as an artificial concept by filling our homes with wool blankets and scented candles. Those who value truly hygge moments will definitely be happier in the long run.

3. More trust, please!

One big difference I've noticed time and again between my family in Denmark and my environment here in Germany is the fact that the doors are literally open. When my mother and I visit the family (after we've finally finished work late on Friday afternoons...), it's completely normal for us to just walk into the house. I can't remember ever seeing the front door locked or ringing the doorbell.

Now, I have to say that my family lives in a very small town. In Copenhagen or Aarhus, not everyone would leave their apartment doors unlocked. But even so, this small example says a lot about the Danish mentality and the trust it places in others. In comparison, in the small German town where I grew up, I never experienced people simply entering the house through an unlocked door.

Sure, even in Denmark, the trust that many people place in their fellow human beings is sometimes abused. But overall, it simply creates a much better atmosphere and makes people feel a lot more relaxed when they don't always assume the worst.

As trite as it may sound: If we manage to take a more relaxed view of life and our relationships, we will automatically become more relaxed – and thus more content. And perhaps we'll even achieve a higher ranking than the current 24th place in the World Happiness Report.

Brigitte

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