Doctor Says Stopping Only Thinking Positively Makes You Happier

It helps you to let go of performance pressure, live more in the moment and be happier, even when things don't go as planned. Photo: Unsplash

Always thinking positively, setting goals, pursuing ambitions… It sounds like the recipe for a successful and happier life. But according to physician and author Jordan Grumet, there is actually a lot to be gained from a seemingly gloomy strategy: consciously thinking about what could go wrong.

This approach is called negative visualization , he writes in an article for Psychology Today. By this, Grumet means that you should sometimes imagine that something will fail. Although it may sound like a recipe for doom-mongering, it is exactly the opposite. It helps you to let go of the pressure to perform , to live more in the moment and to be happier, even when things don't go as planned.

The idea comes from Stoic philosophy, a movement from ancient Rome, Grumet writes . Thinkers such as Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius used negative visualization as mental training: by regularly imagining what you can lose or what can go wrong, you develop resilience, gratitude and inner peace. Modern psychology is increasingly in line with this.

According to Grumet, negative visualization helps you to detach from end goals and enjoy the process. He distinguishes between Big-P Purpose (your big mission, the ultimate dream) and little-p purpose (the satisfaction you get from daily activities).

By imagining that you might never reach that big goal, you start to ask yourself: do I actually like the journey to get there? And that is precisely the power, reveals the doctor and author.

You appreciate the process more. “If you don’t count on finishing that novel or getting that top job, the question arises: do I enjoy writing itself? Do I get energy from my work? It’s no longer about the end point, but about the journey itself. And if that journey is satisfying, you live more meaningfully, regardless of the outcome.”

Grumet also says you should remain open to unexpected moments of happiness . “Sometimes you pursue a goal, but discover something else along the way that makes you happy. An unexpected opportunity, a different direction, a passion you didn’t know about. By mentally letting go of where you have to end up, you create space to allow such surprises.”

Finally, this approach prevents the 'I'll only be happy when ...' thinking. "Have you ever achieved something you've been looking forward to for a long time - a new job, house, diploma - and then felt disappointed? That's the psychological phenomenon of hedonic adaptation: we quickly get used to new circumstances and start longing for something new again." Negative visualization protects against that, according to Grumet. "By regularly thinking about what didn't work out, you appreciate what you have now much more."