Why Are Ted Cruz and Tucker Carlson Fighting? Buckle Up.

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Nobody should envy the position Ted Cruz finds himself in these days. Here is a senator who rose through the ranks in Washington as a boilerplate, Harvard Law–educated Republican—meaner and more pedantic than his contemporaries, sure, but ultimately bound by the same antiseptic platform (tax cuts for the rich, a microscopic federal apparatus). Then, to Cruz’s credit, once it became clear that the rules of engagement have been permanently changed, he successfully molded himself into a MAGA Republican. This is a man capable of swallowing his pride enough to deny the results of the 2020 election, or to pick a fight with Elmo over the COVID-19 vaccines. In turn, he has been edging ever closer to the inner circle of the Trump Order, becoming ever more famous in the process.

Cruz has played his hand well, is what I am saying. But in addition to being almost uniquely annoying, the thing about Ted Cruz is that he is not just a mindless follower. Because of this, there are still moments where the friction of his dueling ideologies—MAGA ideologue and old-school conservative ghoul—become glaringly apparent. Which is why it was so cathartic to watch Tucker Carlson punk the senator for everyone to see.

The issue at hand is Israel’s offensive in Iran, and the Netanyahu government’s desire for the United States to join the fold. Cruz, given his old-school conservative bona fides, is staunchly pro-Israel, while Carlson represents the nouveau anti-interventionalist approach that is reflected throughout much of the Trump coalition. The two decided to hash out their differences on Carlson’s podcast just as it became clear that the administration was seriously considering launching American-led operations in the region. I think it is fair to say that nobody in our great nation wants this to happen, which is why the interview went viral on both conservative and liberal airwaves. Cruz, who was defending the potential of U.S. collaboration, was strikingly uninformed about the particularities of what would be a massively high-stakes foreign policy investment. (The senator wasn’t able to name the total population of Iran, nor the country’s ethnic makeup.) But more crucially, all of Cruz’s attempts to square a populist agenda within the imperative to support yet another war in the Middle East were hilariously anemic and incoherent. Here is a highlight:

Ah, yes, there’s the Ted Cruz we know and love. A red-blooded MAGA patriot who also asserts that he came into Congress “with the stated intention of being the leading defender of Israel.” America First, baby! Carlson later asks how a psychotic, murder-suicide partnership with a regional hegemon can ever act in concert with Cruz’s meat-and-potatoes policy intentions. (Like, I don’t know, reducing the cost of living, when we know conflict with Iran would juice oil prices to unimaginable degrees.) Well, an agitated Cruz asserted that Iran is—right now, at this very moment—trying to assassinate President Trump. Brother, what? Carlson correctly retorted that if Cruz believes what he’s saying, then surely he should be calling for U.S. military action in the region to avoid another Butler situation. Cruz responded by saying he doesn’t think those clandestine Iranian hitmen are especially effective, leading to Carlson’s natural conclusion. If Iran is indeed weak and enfeebled, then why should the U.S. commit huge swaths of taxpayer dollars to support Israel’s offensive? What is the point of all this? Cruz pauses for a moment, and tells Carlson that he’d like him to be a little less snarky.

It goes on like this. In total, the men spoke for more than two hours, and they explored some of the more esoteric elements of the senator’s dogmatic allegiance to Israel. (Why did he first take up this cause? The Old Testament, mostly.) I should also note that the ferocity with which Carlson attacked Cruz on the issue must be ingested with some reservations. Like a startling number of right-wing podcast gadflies, the broadcaster has become surprisingly amenable to antisemitic conspiracies as of late, and that does raise some questions if his distaste for Israel policy orthodoxies is solely focused on the berserking Netanyahu regime or … something else. (Last year Carlson hosted the amateur historian Darryl Cooper, a man who has centered his media brand around the idea that Adolf Hitler didn’t get a fair shake.) Still, the point here is that the U.S.’s encroachment on Iran is spectacularly unpopular. In fact, it might be the only question our polarized population can find consensus on. Last week, YouGov found that only 16 percent of Americans supported the idea of military intervention. And yet, Cruz, coffers brimming with AIPAC money, is simply incapable of taking a stance aligned with his actual constituency. All that’s left for him to do—in fact, the only thing he can do in this scenario—is eat shit.

A lot of liberals have been enjoying the schadenfreude here. It is indeed hilarious to witness a brewing civil war in MAGAdom. I think it would be a disaster if the president does eventually settle on military action in Iran, but I would at least enjoy the consternation from the isolationist freaks as Trump morphs into yet another permutation of George W. Bush. With that said, it is telling that Cruz was put through the ringer by Tucker Carlson, of all people. He badgered, cajoled, and humiliated the senator, because the senator has taken a losing side. Still, Carlson remains an America First guy, who favors insane deportation regimens in order to stave off the Great Replacement. It is bad that he is winning here, even though it is also extremely funny.

Unfortunately, too many Democrats are shackled by the same limitations as Cruz, and are unable to carve out much daylight between their official positions and the ambitions of Netanyahu. Just a few days ago Chuck Schumer declined to sponsor a bill that would freeze funding for military operations in Iran. For the love of god, Democrats, just do the things that people want. Tucker Carlson should never be the only person making Ted Cruz this sweaty.

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